Thursday, December 17, 2009
Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 2:58 PMSubject: KRAMPUS IS COMING TO GET YOU (UNCLASSIFIED)
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO
Dream Team,
I'm writing to let you know about my favorite Christmas character,
Krampus (also known in a less politically correct fashion as "Black
Peter"). While Saint Nicholas gives gifts to good children, the Krampus
warns and punishes bad children LIKE SHELBY S---. Traditionally, young
men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December,
particularly in the evening of December 5, and roam the streets
frightening children and women with rusty chains and bells. To me,
Krampus not only reminds all of us of Christmas, but he also promotes
the important message of having your tetanus shots up to date so that
evil men dressed like goats can freely beat people with rusty objects
without causing unsightly muscle spasms resulting in death. Merry
Christmas!
In some rural areas the tradition also includes birching by Krampus,
especially of young girls. In more metropolitan areas, however, beating
women with bundles of sticks is frowned upon. I say THESE LIBERALS NEED
TO STOP TRYING TO BE SO POLITICALLY CORRECT AS TO INFRINGE UPON MY
VALUED CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS.
Enjoy this lively Christmas card featuring Krampus, and have a wonderful
weekend.
v/r,
Bunny Mcintosh
D---- Marketing
i am bunny mcintosh
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