Monday, April 28, 2008
Dear The News,
PLEASE. I don't know what you want. I don't if everyone on your writing staff has huge vehicles, but STORIES ABOUT HOW HIGH GAS PRICES ARE ARE BORING. It's like listening to a discussion at the senior center about the price of milk, or ... THE PRICE OF GAS. WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS THE LAST THING I DISCUSSED WITH MY GRANDMA. I have a hard enough time listening to stupid "man on the street" comments about the democratic candidates, or whether or not their murder neighbors seemed normal. How about a story about how we're all lucky our cars aren't run on orange juice, which grows in Florida, and isn't dug out of dinosaur graves in the center of the earth below Saudi Arabia? I know it's expensive. I put $50 in a Jetta yesterday, but I want to learn about the world when I watch the news, not about how two shorts-wearing car poolers from Bethesda hate spending money on gas. Hating high gas prices is like hating it when a dog pees on your shoes. You hate spending money on unfun gas unless you happen to be a universe-punishing billionaire who likes to watch the plebs suffer by pouring gallons of gas on your lawn and laughing as the indigent protest.
PLEASE STOP THESE STORIES.
yours,
Bunny
I'm Bunny Mcintosh.
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