Monday, January 05, 2009
After a conversation about meeting men in Japan, my room mate just said this:
Jill: Y--- just introduced me to one of his friends.
Me: Does he seem cool?
Jill: Yes. He could be. Although, he COULD be a pervert and own a windowless van. I can't really tell.
Since my dad mass emailed these pictures, I'm sure you all saw them in 1999, however... I do what I want.
"Hey, aren't you the guy that sued himself?"
"Goddammit. Yes."
"We had no idea anyone was buried there."
"I wouldn't do it again. She's been a pain this week."
Saturday, January 03, 2009
OH MURDER. I'm flying standby to the U!S!A!, and I've been trying to get out of this country since Thursday. I have enormous muscles from dragging my suitcase hither and f. yon on the train. Fortunately, Narita is beautiful, so I can eat sashimi lunches and read on wistfully constructed balconies before the inevitable disappointment of my non-departure.
I'm going to try again tomorrow.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Apples, fruits maybe
You know what I fear
The end is always near
We came down from the north
Blue hands and a torch
Red wine and food for free
A possibility
We share our mothers' health
It is what we've been dealt
What's in it for me?
Fine
Then I'll agree
Say you like it
Say you need it
When you don't
Looking better
Shining brighter
Than you do
Trees there will be
Apples, fruits maybe
You know what I fear
The end is always near
Monday, December 29, 2008
I took way too long to post this.
Esme Q drew it. Thanks, dollface.
I just got one of the nicest emails from someone who reads my website. You know who you are, so thank you.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Blogging from work alert. I:m on a Japanese keyboard, so excuse the punctuation.
Thanks for being lovely and supportive, by the way. My mini-crisis is ending, I think, or, at least I don't feel hideous about it at the moment. My entire family is extremely unworried. I am going to follow their cool, calm, collected and elegant leads. Allow me to rest on strength of your under reactions. I don:t know. Cancer is kind of the Sept. 11th of diseases. It:s hard not to be frightened.
Speaking of which, I drowned my sadness in tequila and American books and shopping for high quality, Japanese jump suits. I picked up The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda's Road To 9/11 by Lawrene Wright. I'm 17 pages in and it's fantastic.
your girl recommends it.
I have the week off for the holidays and I am prepared for adventure beyond your wildest dreams.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Here is something far, far too personal for my blog:
jilly,
Guess who's dad has cancer? If you guessed mine YOU ARE CORRECT.
My mom emailed me to tell me that "dad has cancer." So, I skyped her to figure out who's dad, her's or mine.
"Daddy. Your dad."
My dad.
What the fuck, Universe? He's a prohibitionist who goes on fucking
JOGS. My dad? The man who lifts weights in the garage and had never had a cigarette in his life and who drinks near beer? That's mathematically wacky. He followed all the rules.
He's having a second surgery on it Friday. Apparently he had
surgery last Wednesday for a hernia and they found something. It looks
like it's contained, though, so not to worry, but since you are my
step- therapist, I needed to tell you. EHHHGHGHG
Now I am going to get daytime drunk with Ed, Jackie and Yasuya to
celebrate the birth of sweet, black baby Jesus, and the death of my
dad's cancer. I feel like shit. Thankfully, I self medicate.
your pal,
Bunny
P.S. According to the Kubler-Ross model, I've already moved onto
anger! I never even did denial! DENIAL IS FOR THE WEAK. I AM GOING TO KARATE KICK THE CANCER OUT OF MY DAD.
By the way, it's sarcoma.
---
Now that I think about it, I didn't skip step one. I'm going with denial for awhile. It's totally contained and it's no problem. Please don't worry or leave anything nice in the comments. Just don't say anything.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
What are you favorite political or history books or essays? I need something to read.
Here is my too read list so far:
Friday, December 19, 2008
I'm at work, and since it's holiday-rific around here, I have one student today. I have done the majority of my Christmas shopping, which is a joy and a half in Japan because the shops are all so glittery and clean. There isn't really holiday Christmas shopping madness. There is always some amount of shopping madness, but it isn't really accelerated by the birth of sweet, black baby Jesus.
Japan really wins the argument for a Godless, heathen nation. Somehow without the wrathful eye of heaven bearing down, the population is MORE law abiding, MORE respectful, and MORE shame-filled. I'm big into having "Constitutional rights," but I'm fairly jazzed about being able to drink on the train legally like an adult (rights!) and walk home at night without the fear of getting knifed to death by a teenager who just drank 17 bottles of Robotussen and took all his grandmas hip medication because someone made fun of him on myspace. If I wanted to, I could even go to my local brothel and get two hjs for $15 on the way home from work. It's all up to me. This, this is true freedom. And somehow, adults being able to make moral decisions for themselves ISN'T RUINING EVERYTHING.
On the other hand, if you get caught with weed they put you in a dog cage for 5 years and even if you can afford a lawyer, there's something like a 90% conviction rate, so what's the fucking point? I'm still down with those odds, though, because there is really not too much you can do that big brother will be bothered by besides flagrant drug use. Drunk in public? The police will carry you home. Loitering? Ha ha. No such thing here. Lost? Ask a cop and he will walk you four blocks. Making out somewhere inappropriate? You will probably be politely asked to leave, if you are interrupted at all. I cross against the light every day in front of my police box, and I get smiled at. Stupid foreigner. She probably doesn't understand that the little red man means don't go. This is what happens when the police aren't afraid of the population. THEY HELP YOU.
jill: today on the train I thought I was getting tuberculous.me: i'm documenting that.
jill: i kind of want tuberculosis.
me: why?
jill: because it's funny. and so that I can be that dick bag with tuberculous who uses it to get what she wants.
me: you're abnormal.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
As of today, I am a fanny pack owner.
I hate iPhoto so much.
This takes about 15 minutes, and it tastes amazing.
ingredients:
green leaf lettuce
fresh basil (a handful)
plum tomatoes
avocado
olive oil
3 garlic cloves
sweet onion
sword fish (you can use all kinds of fish-- tuna is nice if you serve it rare)
pineapple
balsamic vinegar
honey
lemon juice
Rip up leaf lettuce, basil, cut up tomatoes and avocado. Set in a bowl.
in a pan, heat olive oil, garlic, onions, broccoli, sword fish, and pineapple. Saute until the fish is cooked through. Drizzle the fish with 1tsp balsamic vinegar and 1 tsp. honey. Sear the fish briefly on high heat. Add a little lemon juice to the broccoli and the fish.
Toss everything in the bowl together. Pour the remainder of the balsamic, honey and olive oil on the salad.
Salt to taste.
I have a new job idea: I am going to be a DOGTOGRAPHER.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
taken by leanne
jill, leanne, me-- we are a triumverate of hair colors
here I am lecturing some italians at max's house
by sharissa
sharissa again
welcome to how great derek is
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Hello Gents: if this comic is about you, it means that at least 3 women in your life REALLY want to tell you how to dress and cut your hair.
Except you, Sean. You just have bad luck. You dress well already.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
I could be none more attracted to Sebastian Tellier.
Friday, December 05, 2008
My room mate Jill informed me that I walk "like I am roller skating." I've always suspected that I have a crazy walk, so last night I practiced walking around our kitchen ONLY TO BE MOCKED. Finally I figured out how people are "supposed to walk" but I feel like it's an unnatural abomination. Still -- I am DESTINED FOR CHANGE.
GREAT. FOR THE LAST 27 YEARS I HAVE BEEN WALKING LIKE A FAILURE. This is likely to be a giant hassle.
Monday, December 01, 2008
BIG NEWS: I have a nemesis. He is a 13 year old Japanese boy named Shogo. He is the new bane of my Mondays because the furious hand of fate just delt me two kids classes. One of these clusterfucking disasters has 8 loud teenage boys, ruled by Shogo. The universe so cruely put him on this earth to throw me the karmatic blow of a life time. SHOGOG IS A JAPANESE TEEN VERSION OF HOW I USED TO BEHAVE IN SCHOOL. He is a cynical little shit and he never stops talking.
He seriously called me "round eye." It is the funniest, but he is also obnoxious and disruptive. He makes comical Japanese noises, pops his eyes out of his head, points at me, does karate moves, breaks things, YELLS and speaks Japanese all through class. I want to kill him, but it's also fun having a nemesis who is smaller than I am and younger than I am, because for all his tyrannical behavior, I could literally get mad enough to throw him Hulk Hogan style out a window.
The other 8 year old boys like me because Shogo acts like an asshole and yells or something and I make it my soul mission to embarass him publically. I'll frequently make a fist and shake it at him and yell "ShoGOOOO" with a comical dramatic inflection. I have also made him repeat "it puts the lotion in the basket" when he's bad.
So basically, welcome to my hell scape. I want to write him a letter that says "open when you're 25," and begins with "Dear Shogo, I just want you to know that at 13, you are the bane of my existence," and then explain to him that he is both my mortal enemy and my favorite student by far.
I am considering making him cry some day.
If only I knew how!
i am bunny mcintosh
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