Monday, February 01, 2010

My amigos y yo attended some sweet Extreme Midget Wrestling this Saturday night at the Paradise Bar. We considered it a black tie affair. Some dignity was lost as I experienced first hand what it's like to get booed out of a midget wrestling ring for doing the robot instead of dancing explicitly with a tiny, frighteningly muscular man during the skanky audience-volunteer dance competition." Your repeated requests to view my bajungaz were DENIED WITH PREJUDICE, LEESVILLE. More pictures to come.

amazing husband

Ok. Back to work!



posted at 23:48 by bunny mcintosh

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I feel like 2010 has ushered in ILLNESS unto me. I got the old one-two sick-then-better-then-sick-again, and have perpetually been feeling at the lamest end of my game since last year. Women's Health Magazine mocks me for wanting to go work out and get back into feeling ever so babealicious. Right now I'm a mascara-free disaster under and electric blanket.

The VERY WORST is that the high school Triumvirate is all within driving distance and I can't even hang out. Rachel darling I miss you so much I could cry.

Upon complaining I realize that 2010 hasn't cracked up to be all bad. With the help of my comrades, I swear we stopped an in-progress rape maybe 45 minutes into the new year by screaming from our hotel balcony at the rapist below. The cops came and everything. Never a dull moment. 911 is a stellar idea.

The job is still good, the cat is still alive, my husband's still cute and I'm still taking my time to perfect the beat. And I still got love for the streets.



posted at 06:29 by bunny mcintosh

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I cried last night while watching Gattaca for the first time. How did I not know about this fantastic movie starring the gorgeously dorky Ethan Hawke? Also ladies, did you know he was FOURTY? Woah. If you know about any more fantastic movies that are based either in the future or in space, please comment as I am a sci-fi addict. BUT BE WARNED: If it has elves or wizards in it, I’m not as inclined to like it.
Ev ruined my sentimental weepy moment by declaring that he’s “still not convinced that guy isn’t anything more than a bumbeling retard.”
“Well they showed him obsessively reading at the dinner table.”
“Yeah, a book called Careers in Space. So what? I’ve probably read that book .”
“Yeah, me too.”



posted at 05:22 by bunny mcintosh



I'm a huge fan of insane news men.



posted at 04:49 by bunny mcintosh

Thursday, December 31, 2009

So goodness gracious, I am back from Jamaica and don't worry, I'M ALIVE despite some moron trying to blow up a plane. GREAT JOB IDIOT- YOU BURNED YOUR PENIS INSTEAD OF COMMITTING SUCCESSFUL JIHAD. ALL YOU REALLY MANAGED TO DO WAS TO MAKE TSA GO TO GREAT AND HYSTERICAL LENGTHS TO MAKE OUR TRIP HOME A HASSLE.

So can you blow up a plane with a panties-bomb? Not a chance! This myth is BUSTED!

nEwAYz, on a chipper-er note, I'll have pictures once I get settled at home to upload and you can behold my Lindsey Lohan style spray tan. Unfortunately for your eyes, I'm in love with my camera phone and its ability to internally let me edit, and frankly I'm too lazy to drag a real cam around. So all my pictures lately are super low res.

Like a boss.

I'm having a lovely time, and I visit Athens for New Years so hit me up on a page if you want to hang out, chief. I miss you, probably.



posted at 02:24 by bunny mcintosh

Theatrical hilarity: Pavol Liska,of the Nature Theater of Oklahoma, is putting on a re-written production of Romeo and Juliette based on how his friends and associates recall the story. Apparently it's a real nightmare to recall details, people, so the dialogue is a tangential disaster based on the vauge memories of 9th grade AP English. POR EXEMPLO:

"Romeo gets in a fight with some guy with a very flourishy name like Euristhepis or something like that," one person recalled.

"He either takes some poison or stabs himself. I forgot how he kills himself," said another.

The best part of the interviews, the directors say, is when people start to make stuff up to fill the gaps in their knowledge.

"It's sort of like Anna Nicole," one befuddled interviewee explained. "You know, like, she went into the Bahamas. Do you remember when you found out about Anna Nicole? Yes, to me it's kind of like 9/11."

You can read the whole story here: LINK




posted at 02:19 by bunny mcintosh

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i think the fact that I'm drunk on a plane playing World of Warcraft and blogging on the way to Jamaica to spend Festivus makes me the most ridiculous girl alive.

Santogold is pumping their Santo-hits into my willing ears. We're over orlando. This bloody mary is early. My death knight needs to run dungeons to get frost emblems, but alas, this plane ride is the plane of lag.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU SIGNED UP FOR A TRIAL ACCOUNT SO I CAN JUST TURN THIS WEBSITE INTO AN EXCLUSIVE DEATH KNIGHT TALENT BUILD DISCUSSION BOARD ALREADY?

For f. Duel wield frost AND blood and lose the ghoul even though he tanks. The patch will only ruin your life again anyway.

Come on people, having friends and a life is for fucking suckers. Play games, go dancing, find a hot husband, buy a cat, be like me, feel lucky for your family, get a sequend skirt on sale, love your mom, love your husbabd;s mom, kill in the argent tournament, drink a bloody mary on the plane, cut off all yr nasty ass long hair, get a deaf best friend, throw your belongings into the Hudson, threaten to quit every day, every day know it's a joke, like your job, eat a pizza, die in a fire, wear your seatbelt, survive the fire in a crazy one in a million chance, keep the Krampus in Christmas, draw a photorealistic octopus on your brother in laws end table and keep writing even though.

I love you.

I've got to earn badges of frost. Don't make fun of me. You know you want it.

EGghghghg, the logistics of getting up to use the toi-ray are a real hass. JAHHHH.



posted at 01:31 by bunny mcintosh

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Please watch this with sound on:

http://www.todaysbigfail.com/view/20091130

Now you can sing that song when something horrible happens.



posted at 06:45 by bunny mcintosh

Sent: Friday, December 11, 2009 2:58 PM

Subject: KRAMPUS IS COMING TO GET YOU (UNCLASSIFIED)

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: FOUO

Dream Team,

I'm writing to let you know about my favorite Christmas character,
Krampus (also known in a less politically correct fashion as "Black
Peter"). While Saint Nicholas gives gifts to good children, the Krampus
warns and punishes bad children LIKE SHELBY S---. Traditionally, young
men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December,
particularly in the evening of December 5, and roam the streets
frightening children and women with rusty chains and bells. To me,
Krampus not only reminds all of us of Christmas, but he also promotes
the important message of having your tetanus shots up to date so that
evil men dressed like goats can freely beat people with rusty objects
without causing unsightly muscle spasms resulting in death. Merry
Christmas!

In some rural areas the tradition also includes birching by Krampus,
especially of young girls. In more metropolitan areas, however, beating
women with bundles of sticks is frowned upon. I say THESE LIBERALS NEED
TO STOP TRYING TO BE SO POLITICALLY CORRECT AS TO INFRINGE UPON MY
VALUED CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS.

Enjoy this lively Christmas card featuring Krampus, and have a wonderful
weekend.


v/r,
Bunny Mcintosh
D---- Marketing



posted at 06:42 by bunny mcintosh

We had our office Christmas Party today AND I GOT A SNUGGIE FROM MY NEW BEST FRIEND NEYSA. If you've never seen a grown ass woman running around the marketing department in a leopard print Snuggie, you haven't had the pleasure of working with me.

I'm wearing it now at my desk. I can finally gain that 350 lbs. I was considering putting on IN STYLE!



posted at 06:38 by bunny mcintosh

Friday, November 27, 2009



Happy Thanksgiving, let's eat until our hearts stop.



posted at 12:54 by bunny mcintosh

Thursday, November 26, 2009



Here is a picture of my inappropriate winter work shoes. Hi. I'm in Kentucky visiting my family. Ev and I are racked out in the basement on our computers while my family stomps around above our heads like a heard of beautiful, lovely elephants.

Happy birthday, by the way Everett. I could tell a silent audience how much I love you, but they wouldn't understand.

I swear to fill you in on my exciting vacash-capades, because BEHOLD: I AM NOT WORKING FOR ONCE. If I WERE to blog more I'd fill you in on all the office gossip, like for example one of the ladies is fighting with her husband almost every day "because it's squirrel season." I SWEAR THIS IS REAL. She detailed her plight at great, southern volumes for all the office to hear. She later explained how to stuff a turkey with a hog. Or a hog with a turkey. I don't remember. Also she's eaten most small woodland creatures- there was a list. She has giant hair and is from Texas and sits like, 4 cubicles away from me. She has one of those secret, 1990s screens that lays WITHIN her desk under some sort of glass so she can spy on her grandkids on myspace and report to us on their every move instead of ... do payroll, or whatever else the payroll person does for the other 28 days of the month.

Anyway, I'm off to bed, or to play World of Warcraft, which is about as fun as kittens on crack.

Goodnight my friends.



posted at 13:42 by bunny mcintosh

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Texas posts the last words of their executed dead on their web site. I'm not sure I'm morally down, but I've read them all anyway.



posted at 00:28 by bunny mcintosh

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I finally achieved my dream of making a poster at work with a LOLcat on it for the Vet Clinic. And my colleagues are none the wiser!

I've figured out that if I use long, convoluted explanations for why I do things ( ie: Banksey is popular with the kids! What's that? OH ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN THAT HE'S AN EXISTENTIALIST GRAFFITI ARTIST FOR THE NEXT 20 MINUTES), no one really wants to listen and then I get to do whatever I want, like put sweet graffiti ALL OVER the "Teen Workforce Seminar" posters I made last week.

High five, teenage youth.

BONUS: Here are some photos I took with my phone. They are literally the worst pictures I've ever seen. But the filters will distract you!












posted at 12:14 by bunny mcintosh

Thursday, November 05, 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LEETLE SEESTER. I love you so much Cabbage Rabbit.



posted at 10:40 by bunny mcintosh

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

oh, blogging from the job!!! it is a terrible habit that is impossible to break!!
christa t | Homepage | 11.03.09 - 6:33 pm | #

Gravatar I KNOW. My time as the shining star of the marketing department has finaly collapsed because of THIS TIME SUCKING, UNPAID WRITING JOB I GAVE MYSELF AND CAN'T SEEM TO QUIT.
bunny mcintosh | Homepage | 11.03.09 - 7:53 pm | #



posted at 10:40 by bunny mcintosh

I love working for the Department of Defense. Monday, 8 AM I waltz into my office (office. Ha. Cubicle that doubles as a storage facility for the other departments) and there is UTTER PANIC.

“What’s up, Dream Team?”

“WE HAVE TRAINING.” Immediately I’m thinking “oh what did I fuck up to cause this?” because I fear failure so very, very much.

“WHAT KIND OF TRAINING?” I ask.

“IT’S FROM (Most Serious Boss In the World Who I Have Never Seen Smile). GET YOUR EMAIL RIGHT NOW.” There are like, flashing lights and alarms on the faces of my co-workers. I figure we’re all going to have to learn Python to keep our jobs or something.

So after windows takes 12 minutes to open outlook I start reading a long-ass Power Point presentation about Human Sex Slavery and Trafficking and how I can avoid participating in it. THE FIRST SLIDE IS A HORRIFIC QUOTE FROM A BUNCH OF CAPTURED WOMEN FROM SIERRA LEONE WHO GOT THEIR EYES CUT OUT AND RAPED. AT 8 AM. ON MONDAY MORNING. I think I’m going to have a nice relaxing day of designing posters for the stray shelter’s adopt-a-thon, but alas, these dreams have been interrupted by the need for the Man to terrify me out of sex-slave participation. One of my (lady) co-workers starts yelling “THANKS FOR THIS POWER POINT. I WILL NO LONGER TRAFFIC HUMANS.”

Unfortunately, I am unable to comply at the moment because my main source of income is not really my marketing job, but rather the brothel of teenage she-males I run out of the water-heater closet in my apartment. BUT THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP. I had no idea Le Ping was unhappy until this helpful Power Point. But screw it, cause marketing just doesn't pay that well. Sorry Le Ping.



posted at 08:19 by bunny mcintosh

I think my co-worker is choking. Best to just wait it out and see.



posted at 01:09 by bunny mcintosh

God, with my post lapses I'm becoming my sister (who I miss, btw. She's in Brooklyn last time I checked, but whoever really knows with that wild little scamp).

I just wanted to let you know that if you didn't have the perfect Holiday gifts for your loved-or-tolerated ones, peep this Engram Meter Reader. Less than $60! And I'm sure TomKat has the SAME ONE.

Ok, I don't want to get fired so I'm going to jet. Big brother watches me at this job. What's up, big brohamster?

Oh yes- I also wanted to tell you that now even men are more glamorous and sexy than you are. How does THIS MAKE YOU FEEL? Like cutting yourself? I hate beauty pageants, except for the bikinis, but that's only because I'm ghey. Or wait...



posted at 01:02 by bunny mcintosh

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Oh Lord, I leave for a little while and the creep show begins to present itself again unless I'm here to put the smack down.

I spent last weekend at a Casino, and this one at a funeral. I'll update again when I'm fueled to- I write and write for my job, and I'm not so into the "today I went to work" posts. These slow-blog-deaths hit me now and then. I design posters and ads for work, I write press releases, I take pictures, and I'm constantly fulfilling my need to produce. And I'll be real, it pays better, and I don't have weirdos harassing me about my body. I'm sure I'll be back full force when the mood strikes me again, and I'm sure it will, America. Like right now, for example.



posted at 12:44 by bunny mcintosh


i am bunny mcintosh




You could donate to NPR, but NPR would probably waste it on research.
Cornify
(click for unicorns)

photography


www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos from melting dolls. Make your own badge here.

videos





music




add us on myspace so I can pretend to have friends in real life


Check out our Radiohead tickets, REM tickets,
Coachella Festival tickets, Kanye West tickets,
and tons of other cheap concert tickets


the internet




please click to donate
to this wonderful organization

cafe press
articles
scene is missing
me and tony pierce
ted talks
oddee
jezebel
cracked
booooooom
the comics curmudgeon
free scores
tapartoche
tuppenhut
atlanta ladyblogging
etsy
4 chan
phone tricks
how to make a web page

blogs





raymi
maddox
my sister's blog
Michael J. Totten
Ethical Werewolf
Crowd Cntrl
oceanchum
Dog Boy
Dehumidifier
Anthelion
Midnight Mail Man
Baby Courageous
Scene Missing
chris couch
Jack
Zulieka
winter
Madmonq
YMSP
alterntive army wife


You will probably start crying cause you will realize that you have achieved every want in your life, but try and keep a slam face on.
-cocaine bref




If we don't protect freedom of speech, we will never know who the assholes are.

Creative Commons License